Breathe

Here's me, getting all stressed by all the goodness I try to cram into my life.

There are just SO many things I want to experience, to try, to explore... and only so many hours in a day. I have to say to myself constantly, "Breathe, you are exactly where you are meant to be." And well, to be honest, I don't usually listen to myself either.

We had new friends, someone I had met through the Mondo Beyondo* e-course, visit us yesterday and today. They are on an awesome adventure, traveling from Ontario, Cananda, all through the US and across Canada. I have loved following their blog, Dandelion Express,* and I was so thrilled they made a stop in little ol' Pioneer, CA. And yet their stay was RUSHED. Because, well, I try to fit EVERYTHING in.

Some day I will learn.

I have a new picture on the wall behind my computer, it says "Turn Off the Computer: Make Art." * Notice I'm sitting here typing about it rather than doing what it says.

So, it seems I have several areas for improvement. But you know what? I'm letting go of that. I'm not going to hurry. I'm not going to worry. I'm right where I'm supposed to be.

Not that a Clearing* wouldn't be a bad idea. If I want to invite more in, I need to clear something out.

I'm observing myself. That's what this post is about. And I'm giving myself permission to be who I am. To love that crazy self who tries to do oh so much, I would rather love this part of me than berate myself for not being something, or someone else. I am who I am.

I am enough.*

Thanks to Tracey Clark* for that phrase.

And so it goes!


*there are no links to any of these references, well, because i AM going to get off the computer in a moment, feel free to goolge the *asteriks,* awesome folks!

Dreaming the Dream

I am happiest when I am creating ART.

When I am creating ART time as a concept disappears. I am lost in the process. This little dab of paint here, this line there. I become present and in the now. It becomes a meditative state. It is so much more effective for me than trying to sit on a pillow and focus on my breathing. When I am drawing, painting, and collaging I enter into bliss. Not "la-la the world is perfect there are no problems kind of bliss," but rather a place of centeredness and a feeling that everything is all right, no matter what is happening. It's hard to put into words, this feeling, this experience.

But today was one of those blissful days. Nearly a half a day of losing myself in ART!

Tracy making ART = one happy girl!

These days I am learning new techniques in collage and mixed-media. I am also "practicing" the act of getting anything down on paper so I don't spend all day staring at a white canvas. I found the most wonderful Art Journal prompts here. Sarah Whitmire is so generous in sharing her inspiration and ideas with others through her blog. I have a very busy summer, otherwise I'd be signing up for her online classes in Soul Journaling.

This is the "journal prompt" I've been working on. All about Home and Family. And so here is what I created:

So much FUN!!

I am so grateful for the chance to create!

What do you do to find your place of Bliss?

Happy Creating!

Letting Go

Sometimes life gets overwhelming. It throws us more than we can or want to handle. The answers seem far away. And all the EFFORT in the world doesn't seem to solve a problem.

At times like these, I feel it's best to let go. Hand it over to *God*.

What I do is write down whatever it is that's bothering me ~ feeling hopeless about a life dream, frustrated with someone, having a bad day, or just wanting some help to get it all done.

And I put it here.

This is my *God Jar*.
(You may insert your word of choice here ~ Universe, Mother Earth, Great Mystery, Spirit. God Jar just had a nice ring to it. It flowed better than Universal Spirit Jar.)

By the way, no, *God* is not in the jar (as in take a peek and finally see what S/he looks like). But, rather, this is where Hope resides. Here is where I can release my problem. Here is where HELP awaits!

So I put my little piece of paper into this jar and say thanks and know that I'm not alone. That someone's got my back. That I can let go.

It's a tangible tool. A practicle form of prayer in a way. I need the physical ritual, the visual prop, to really feel like I'm letting go. I have discovered that this is the perfect way for me.

It's also amazing how it works. Solutions appear. Help is offered. Doors open.

You should try it.

Besides, creating the jar was the best part! So much fun.

What tools do you use? What rituals make up your life? Please share them, I'd love to know!

A special thanks to my friend Kristi for introducing this idea to me!

Surrender

I have a hard time being sick. There are so many things that fill my life. I don't want to miss out on anything!

Yet that is exactly how I get sick. Trying to do everything.

My word for this year is Surrender. A word I chose with the intent that I will not plan, schedule and fill up my year with so many activities and goals. Instead I want this year to be one of going with the flow, following my intuition and seeing what comes along. A year of letting go in a way.

Half way into the year I'm busier than ever. And even though I didn't plan out the year in January, I've managed to fill it up quite easily as each month speeds by.

Apparently slowing down does not come naturally to me. And so my body takes over and helps me along.

I get sick.

And I am forced to slow down. To cancel plans. To stay home.

So I am reminded that my word for this year is Surrender: I hereby surrender to this awful cold. I hereby surrender to forces greater than me. I hereby surrender to a slower pace.

Willingly? Ha ha.

Okay, I'm learning.

I Surrender.

Transformation

"Painting is to dream. When the dream is over, I don't remember anything I dreamed about. The painting, however, remains. It is the harvest of my dream."

Friedensreich Hundertwasser

Before and After

This is what I've been creating recently.
Transforming the cover of my new journal.

I started with a beautiful piece from Kelly Lish out of the March/April edition of Somerset Studio (thank you Kelly for such an inspirational start). Then I cut and tore, pasted and inked.
Getting lost in the process.

So much fun!

Now for the back!

Dare to Say It Out Loud

An Interview with, Well, Me!

I follow a number of very inspiring blogs. They provide a network of amazing people doing amazing things! They also give me great food for thought on what I’d like to put onto my own blog.

Yesterday, over at Wish Studio, Mindy encouraged her readers to do an interview (THAT CARMEN TORBUS wrote!!! it took me a while to get back here and fix that!!!) of themselves. She has been asked to be interviewed herself and says, “The questions are hard to answer, but once out there for all to see, it’s amazingly liberating.”

So in the spirit of sharing what inspires me, and in taking the risk, putting myself out there, and in the spirit of Liberation… here goes!

*******

1. You’ve got some amazing things happening and I can’t wait to hear more about it! Can you tell us a little about yourself and the inspiration behind what you do?

I always seem to have many things happening in my life at any given moment! Here are the big ones right now:

I teach tribal style belly dance classes and am part of a performing troupe. I have a little studio on Main Street in a small town in the Sierra Nevada foothills in northern California. My hope is that this studio offers a place for women to take risks, to become bold, to have fun, and meet other women in search of adventure in their lives. As part of my on-going love of learning, I will be fulfilling a long held dream this summer, participating in a 3-day improvisational tribal style belly dance intensive. It is a style of dance that has always spoken to me. One based on cues and body language and nonverbal communication. Learning to dance within a set vocabulary of dance moves that let women come together, no matter what country they come from nor what language they speak, and dance together in perfect harmony. I am so excited to begin this journey, to eventually share this style of dance with others.

I am also planning my first ever as of yet unnamed soul retreat for my as of yet undiscovered soul tribe of sisters. It will take place early next year, on the coast in winter. It promises to be a chance for connection, art, spiritual exploration, lots of tea, and cozy fires.

I am also finally, after more than 40 years on this planet, embracing my inner ARTist and giving her a voice, a chance for expression, at last! Each day, no matter how small the amount of time, I create something. The medium is not important, it can be with my son’s chalk and a picture on the sidewalk. But giving myself this permission to create has been the best gift ever. It makes me happier, I feel better about myself, I see *ART* wherever I go, everything inspires me now! And my family sees the change as well. They like this new me too.

2. We’re dying to know, what inspires you more than anything else in the whole world?

So to choose one big something… Well, it seems odd, but right now it’s anything with stripes! Drawing them, coloring them, wearing striped socks and tights, seeking out striped shirts…there is something so fun and whimsical about stripes. I adore Dr. Seuss at the moment!

3. What is your big dream? Yes, the BIG one! The really, super big, pee your pants when make it happen dream. The one you feel a wee bit nervous saying out loud. Yep, that one!

The scary one to admit out loud? My BIG DREAM is to lead other women on journeys to sacred places on Earth, to create ART and magic at those places, to connect in a very deep, shamanic, celestial and fun way. It’s so hard not to downplay that dream, to dismiss it in some way as *new-agey* or *airy-fairy* and to worry about what others will think as I share it openly. But that’s truly it!

4. Tell us how you’re going to feel when you make it happen!

Connected. Connected to other women, to Earth herself, to the *hard to name thing* that is Spirit, God, the Universe, One with All. I will feel inspirited! And alive!

5. What would you do if you knew you couldn’t fail and fear didn’t exist?

I would quit my day job and start planning those dream retreats that I just wrote about above. Actually, what’s absolutely thrilling, is that JUST NOW, as I typed, I decided they should be called *D*R*E*A*M* Retreats.

6. What’s next for you?

Well, apparently, given the gist of this interview, it’s getting started on those retreats. Here goes!!!

7. What are you working on right now that you could use some support and encouragement on?

I have found that one of the biggest challenges I have ever faced in my life is being a mother. I second-guess myself over and over, that I’m doing enough for my son, that I must certainly lack a nurturing gene, that I’m not short-changing him in some way by having so many other interests that are not related directly to his needs. It is a constant area for growth, and also for daily practice of finding, and applying, compassion for myself.

8. What advice, tips, resources, and overall good-to-know information would you offer someone just starting out with regards to finding passion & inspiration and digging in?

One of the best places I would recommend going to is Mondo Beyondo. This e-course rocked me like no other! You won’t be disappointed. It encourages you to dream big, and all within a supportive network of other dreamers!

I am also part of a group of lovely women, who I met through Mondo Beyondo, and we are all reading/doing/being inspired by The Artist’s Way by Julia Cameron. Another way I am embracing my inner artist.

9. Is there anything else you’d like to share?

I feel so fortunate, and excited, to be on this path, even though at times I feel like I’m in a holding pattern. I know fabulous life-changing events are brewing. I have taken the first few tentative steps, I have taken some risks, I believe that my life is about to be turned upside down!

10. Where can we find you online and what is the best way to connect with you?

I am online in two places, in the belly dance world at Kundalini Dance, and at my blog, ...a *D*R*E*A*M* in progess! You can also email me at indigomoone@yahoo.com or kundalinidance@yahoo.com.

The Real Deal

There is something about wanting to live an authentic life that screams out for richness. I don’t mean *lots-of-money* richness, but rather a certain quality of life that I want to invite in. A *living out loud, now-not-later, fun and beautiful* kind of life. I feel very fortunate because one of these moments came into my life this past week.

My mother is in the process of cleaning out her garage and she has many, many boxes of her mother’s belongings. My brother and I went through some of them, discussing the variety of items we came across. In this day and age, how does one find a use for individual salt trays? Who are the people that still take the time to eat dessert out of parfait glasses? And why did Grandma have so many tea cups?

There were so many exquisite items in those boxes! But the only thing I came home with (so far) was her silverware. Actual silver! It’s a mismatched, hodge-podge set of teaspoons, knives, salad forks and the like, with more butter knives than I think I’ve ever seen in one place before! Heavy, solid, sparkly utensils, a word that doesn’t even really fit to describe what I found. I wish I could ask her about the stories behind each piece. Grandma, how did you end up with this one here, or what happened to the rest of this set there? What stories she could have shared.

When I got home, I realized it would be so easy to put these away all snug in their pouches for those *special* occasions. But then what’s the fun in that? Why put off life in that way? Why not celebrate every day? Why not honor our food, the ritual of breaking bread together, with such well-made craftsmanship at each and every meal?

So out went all our very simple, cheap, perfectly good stainless steel flatware (to a good cause mind you). And into our drawer went silver forks, spoons and knives that will remind me both of my Grandma, and also remind me to appreciate and honor each and every meal with my family.

And eating is just so much more elegant now!

This is one small step towards living my life to the fullest, celebrating each moment. I invite you to seek out and welcome these opportunities into your life too ~ doing it now, not someday.

What can you invite into your life that is authentic and full of richness? Share your story with me!

Tapping Into Something Greater

I believe in ART.

ART ~ the process of creating, of diving into our creativity ~ the colors, the messiness, the beauty ~ it takes you outside of yourself, into a place where time is forgotten, schedules are meaningless, and nothing exists but the pure expression of self. I believe that when we let go of our critical voices, the noisy thoughts, the incessant *shoulds,* we tap into a magical place. A place where we know exactly who we are, and what we're doing here on this big beautiful and crazy planet, and that everything matters, and nothing does. Some call it intuition, others call it our sixth sense, or Divinity, God, Spirit...

It is powerful to experience, whatever it's name.

Two months ago, I created a cover for a new journal. A mixed media collage of images, words, paint, and ink. I chose for one corner of the cover this picture (can you see it?):

I wasn't sure why. I have two cats, this one doesn't resemble either of them. But I trusted that intuition, that space that I was in that told me, yes, this picture. So onto the page it went with no further thought, until...

Saturday I finished writing in that journal (it was a busy and inspiring two months of writing!). And as I gazed at that kitty, I was quite surprised.

Over a month ago my mother's neighbor passed away, leaving her cat behind, and he needed a good home. Being the cat-lover I am, I of course volunteered to take him in. It's been two weeks of figuring out the logistics, calming him down to make the journey to his new home, and bringing him here.

And of all mornings for him to arrive, and of all mornings for me to reach the end of that journal ~ because this is the kitty I brought home:

Rather close resemblance, no?

Wow!

Magical.

And meant to be.

This is why ART matters. The process of tapping into Something Greater. Where it all makes sense. Where we already know. It is the place of our deepest self. Trust that place!

How do you invite ART into your life?